Alone, again

On wide road I’m marching alone.

No place on Earth is more lonesome than your own heart.

It’s tiring to step on this dust and walk heading nowhere.

I want to be a part of a group, part of a pack.

A leader maybe.

But not now.

It’s not possible for me now, as I walk alone and all those who are nearby

choose to get their own thing done without help.

How painful it is to be rejected so many times that you start to believe nobody will ever accept you.

I’m tired.

I stop.

I gaze at the sky and understand how little I’m in comparison to the whole world.

I cry.

Can’t stop.

Too much for me today. Too much of  crap brought by outsiders that were trusted.

Maybe it’s good that I’m alone?

But you know what is not good?

That I’m a pink elephant when I’m in the crowd.

Touch me.

Heal me.

I want to live. So show me how.

So I could  finally believe in friendship, relationship maybe love.

Love. Strong word. Zero meaning and so much that is covered by other words.

Heat. Warmth, I mean.

I want to feel, finally, something that would guard from cold spread by others…


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